Choosing Vulnerability

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I write about vulnerability and about being brave and choosing to go first.

Vulnerability is my heart.

I write about vulnerability because I am passionate about it.  I have found such a deep rooted joy come out of choosing to be vulnerable, of choosing to let myself be seen even when the outcome is unknown and scary.

Brené Brown says it well,

“I’m not going to bullshit you, vulnerability is hard and it’s scary and it feels dangerous.  But it’s not as hard, scary or dangerous as getting to the end of our lives and having to ask ourselves, “What if I would have shown up?  What if I would have said “I love you”? What if I would have got on the [diving] block?

Show up.

Be seen.

Answer the call to courage because you’re worth it.

Answer the call to be brave”– Brené Brown

How do you start?

For me, it all comes down to a choice.

There was a time in my adult life where I was lonely. Having had a shaky past, getting married and soon having three young daughters all close in age, left me lonely and longing for meaningful connections in my life.

“We are neurobiologically hardwired for connection with people. In the absence of love, belonging and connection there is always suffering.”– Brené Brown.

I had a choice to make, either continue being lonely without the connections I desperately needed or be vulnerable and put myself out there and meet new people, share my story and pursue connections.

It was not easy. Some friendships fizzled out. Sometimes I was hurt quite bad by how humans can act. But you know what? I now have an incredible circle of women in my life who are there for me no matter what. We laugh so hard we cry and sometimes snort. We cry together when there is hard stuff, we hug, we encourage each other. I would not have these women if I had not chosen to be vulnerable, and put myself out there.

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You will get hurt putting yourself out there, choosing to be vulnerable. There will be tears and heartache. But you know what? There will also be incredible joy. And life is so much more beautiful when joy shines in.

I always tell my three young daughters that nothing of value in life comes easy. The things in life that matter the most, take work and time and intentional choices of vulnerability and courage.