There have been many titles I have been given over the years. But none mean more to me than Mother. Mother is the crown on my head. It is my most sacred duty. It is my purpose when I wake up in the morning. It is my charge throughout the day, and as I kiss sleepy heads and soft cheeks at nighttime I am once again reminded that it is a sacred honor to be entrusted with small, innocent human beings.
Recently, I was praying and reading my Bible. I was asking God for direction for my life. The words I heard were simple and profound, “Be a mother. Be the best mother you can be.”
So often I get caught up.
Caught up with career development and what courses I can take to better myself.
Caught up with myself. I want a certain lifestyle that it is centered around my wants and desires and it can be so selfish.
Caught up with people and pleasing others.
Caught up that old and too familiar line of “too busy”.
Caught up with over commitment. Saying yes to everything and everyone else all the while saying no to my family.
Caught up with social media. If I am not careful, hours are wasted on nothing! Nothing! Nothing except mindless scrolling and searching, time that I will never get back.
Be a mother. Be the best mother you can be. It really is so simple. But it takes intention and effort to say enough to those things which take from my family and do not bless my family. It takes intention and effort to say yes to my little people and show up (even if I do not always want to).
I am a goal setter. I think that may be a byproduct of being a writer and loving to write. I am making it my personal goal for 2020 to spend my time and energy investing into my children. I want to go the extra mile to show up for them, to cheer them on, to help them grow and to be there when they need to make tough decisions. Someday, I want them to look back and see how much I loved them by how much I showed up and cheered them on in life. When they are teenagers and adults, I want them to hear my voice in their heads, telling them they are loved, beautiful, incredible and special. I want to watch my baby ducks grow and learn to fly. And when they fall, I want to be there to help them realize that they are strong and that they can get back up again and again.
No mother decides one day to be mediocre; no one makes it their personal goal to live half hearted or to show up some of the time. No, we make those decisions unintentionally when we do not declare it out loud about the kind of mothers we want to be. So I challenge you, write it down and say it out loud everyday. Declare that you will not be mediocre, declare that you will be spectacular as a mother. Declare that you will show up and inspire your children! Declare your love for them, for they need to hear it repeatedly in words and actions. And do not stop there. Affirm them. Affirm your children. Declare over them that they are strong, worthy, loved and brave. Build them up so when they are knocked down, they hear your voice telling them that they can get back up again because they know their worth.
Our words hold so much power. They literally can change the course of our children’s lives. But here is the catch, you have to say them out loud You cannot just think them. You may think your children know how you feel about them, but they don’t. They need to be told and retold about how incredible they are if they will truly believe it. Good intentions do not help our children, not at all.
So put your phone down, maybe even put it away and turn your volume off and just show up for them. Tell them 3 positive things everyday. Build them up, build up their worth. And watch their face as you tell them how you believe in them. It is truly a humbling experience to watch little faces light up with realization that they are worthy, and special. I am not talking compliments, I am speaking about core and foundational truths that build into their belief about who they are.
They will take your voice and carry it with them into the world, so make your words worth it.