Crushing goals

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2 years ago I wrote “Dare to Dream.”

Today I write about Crushing goals!

Two years ago I was unhappy.  Not like “having a bad day” unhappy.   I was deeply, emotionally unhappy.  I was missing joy in my life.  I was missing creativity.  I wasn’t sure who I was anymore or how exactly I had ended up at that point in my life where I just felt unmotivated, unhappy and uninspired.

I was a Christian, couldn’t I just pray this away? 

No. It wasn’t that simple.

Yes I was a Christian.  Yes my faith was real.  But I was still in a rut.  And no matter how much I prayed I still had to find a way to climb out of that rut.

I had recently quit my job as an agency nurse.  I had a crazy immune reaction that put me in the ER for days and the medication I had to be on for the following weeks caused me to gain 20lbs!  And to top that all off, my back locked up causing me to need intense chiropractic treatment and muscle relaxers just to cope with the pain.  I was a hot mess, and an emotional train wreck.

I remember praying one day, “God, help me lose 5 lbs.”

I wasn’t expecting an answer so quickly, but I very quickly heard that still, small voice say, “No Sarah, I am not going to do that for you. That’s not how I work.”

I was a bit offended and caught off guard. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized how self-centered that prayer was.  God is not a genie granting me my wishes.  If I wanted to change, I was going to have to take a hard, deep look at my life and make a plan.

God didn’t want me to lose 5 pounds! He wanted me to stop looking for a quick fix and to start taking care of my body.  He wanted me to stop making bad decisions and to start caring for myself. I knew something had to change, I didn’t know how just yet, but I was determined that I was going to change no matter what.

This is the part where my goals first were created.  You see, deep down we all have goals, ideas of what we think our lives should look like, might one day hopefully look like.  But what we lack is a plan.  I got out a pen and a journal (I have about 5 at any given time that I write in) and I did something that scared me.  I dared to dream and I dared to write my dreams down.

What if I failed?

What if my goals didn’t work out?

Well, I figured at the very worst, I would still be in the same miserable spot I was in.  At the very best I would succeed. Either way, I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

So I wrote out goals and made them real. I dated my pages so that I could not forget. I was scared to dream big.

I wanted career fulfillment.

I wanted to lose the weight I gained and to have a healthy lifestyle day in and day out.

I wanted to be fun again.

I wanted to have fun again.

I wanted to write.

As a working mother of 3 girls, it is very easy to lose yourself and your identity in the daily chaos of real life and raising a family. The chores and to-do lists really never end.  You need to take time re-evaluate and set a course for your life that you want to travel on.

Today, 2 years later I had that moment of realization. That moment where I realized that the very goals I have been working on for the last two years are my daily life now.  The dreams that I wrote down on paper two years ago and was scared to even say out loud for fear of failure have come true.

As I take time to reflect, it is clear to see that it was not an easy journey.  There were tears and growing pains.  When I fell down, I refused to stay down; for I knew that if I didn’t get up and keep pushing forward, I would remain miserable and nothing would change.

I fulfilled my 10 year dream of becoming an ER nurse.  I am almost at my 1 year mark in the ER.  I am also working 12hr day and night shifts.  Something I simply thought I wasn’t strong enough to do.  And to take it one step farther, I have lost the 20 lbs and working out 4 times a week is a normal and natural part of my life; one that my family has come to embrace and join me.  We eat so much healthier than we used to. 

I am so proud of all the changes that have taken place.  All the small, daily decisions towards my goals have added up to an awesome outcome. 

If you look at your life and are uninspired, don’t give up! I have been there, its a hard place to be in. I challenge you, take a deep look. Ask yourself what you want your life to look life. What do you want your life story to say? And don’t stop there. Get a pen and paper, and give life to the dreams and goals that are deep down. Big or small, just start somewhere.

Pray for God to give you wisdom and direction on how to start making positive changes in your life. And pray for the audacious courage and determination to follow through on your goals and dreams.

Crushing my fitness goals one workout at a time.

If you do nothing, you will be sitting in the exact same spot one year from now. Don’t waste a year.

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